For discussion of gay stereotypes, especially for those who don’t feel like we fit the expectations of the mainstream gay and LGBT+ community.
Created by Gayish, an award-nominated gay podcast where we discuss a different gay stereotype each week. Recommended by Oprah Magazine, Esquire, Buzzfeed, and more.
i ran across this bc i just watched “Totally Fucked Up,” based on Chris’ recommendation from the latest episode. without spoilers, it’s a rough watch. but also, it’s an indie film made by an actually gay person in the 90s during the New Queer Wave when queer ppl were pissed off and dying and angry. so that kind of trauma being expressed within the community seems useful. but yeah, with movies like Philadelphia by/starring straight ppl don’t get that same leeway
Hey Kyle (as Mike is fond of saying), loved your live show. Each podcast is very entertaining. I love News of the 1st, 2nd, Last and of course this eeek’s Gayest & Straightest
I’m sure many of your listeners can relate to growing up in a world where being gay was synonymous with being less than or inferior. I love how you and Mike normalize that which is hardwired into my DNA… I am gay.
what’s the gayest and straightest thing you’ve done this week???
for newbies: every week, we talk about the gayest and straight things we’ve done to show that stereotypes are silly, and everyone does a mixture of stereotypically gay, straight, masc, femme, etc. things.
we try to read a different listener’s gayest and straight thing on the show every week. we’re recording now, so post your answer here, and i’ll pick one to read on the episode!
I really felt for you guys (Kyle & Mike) on the Queer Spaces episode. I think the reason you feel some sort of way at the end is because you’re taking on some HUGE topics! There’s way too much to research and talk about each subject fully. I think the Annual Oddfellows Ball (precursor to pageants & ballroom) ran for about 75 years before the ‘moral panic’ in the late 1800’s. We have always been able to find each other and party!
Straightest Moment: Calling a guy friend “brother”.
Got in contact with a old friend. Literally texting him: “Miss seeing you around ‘brother!’ “
Gayest Moment: Finding out that my friend is now gay.
His response: “Miss you too! How’s it been? I have a ‘boyfriend’ now and he just moved in.”
What?!!! We last spoke like 4 years ago! He literally had this Rom-Com moment of meeting this nice lady and married her. Then “BOOM”! News Flash: neutral divorce, found who he is, and still got a boyfriend before me?! Damn… I am behind.
My gayest this week was trying on heels in a very cis-het mall and my straightest was cutting a shelf in half with a hand saw at work.. I work in a grocery store nick named “queen soopers” because it is notoriously known as the “gay” grocery store in Denver. So just the sawing of the shelf was a pretty straight thing in a pretty gay place..
Mike and Kyle talk with the folks at Lost Spaces Podcast all about how they first met, how to spot a Seattle gay, and we reminisce about standing on the pavement at the end of the night after you’ve been kicked out of the pub scouring around for someone to go home with….
GO GIVE THEM A LISTEN!
As someone who the term has been used to describe, I don’t like it. For those of us “straight passing” peeps, it can be sometimes hard to find our place in the mix. We don’t exactly fit in with all “The Guys”, but we also do not exactly fit into any other queer mold exactly. And it can sometimes come off as if we are not gay enough or queer enough, it can be dismissive.
Yeah, I remember being captivated the first QAF. I loved hearing people talk so openly about being gay and gay stuff! Both the UK and US shows came out at a time when ‘no homo’ was very prevalent. I was lucky to have an English parent who used to use the phrase “naught so queer as folk” and so wasn’t thrown when I’d mention the title. She’d just giggle to hear me say it without the requisite accent for it to rhyme.
Yes! Don’t know how I would have survived the pandemic without Tuck’s Gender Reveal or Callie Wright’s Queereplaining or Mike & Kyle with Gayish! I am so grateful to the people who podcast! I never want to go back to having less queer community, I want more conversations, voiced perspectives and outlets for queer people!
-gay future: audio drama, one of the funniest podcasts i’ve listened to
-gender reveal: interviews with non-binary and trans people
-how to be a girl: peabody-nominated, mom raising her daughter who comes out as trans at 3yo
-others we’ve had on i really like: minoritea report, bad queers, if these ovaries could talk
Listening to the left handed podcast. I’m primarily right handed. I never noticed that I do many things left handed until someone pointed it out (kinda like being gay). My dad was left handed. I’m left eye dominant, which is interesting when it comes to shooting pool or firearms right handed. Any surprised that I identify as non-binary?
Unfortunately nothing very exciting. I’m just looking forward to not having to talk to the general public for a couple days. I find my tolerance for cis-het-normies depletes a bit after Pride month. People think that because it’s June, it’s topical to educate themselves by asking me well meaning questions. I think I’m gonna visit the bookstore and stay within the gay village this weekend.
For me, this podcast and space in particular feels so welcoming because the word “gayish” can be so capacious. I’m genderqueer, homoflexible as I define it (which for me equates to gayish), and also married to a cishet man who respects me and my identities—and makes space for me and my identities. And sometimes giving space for him means saying he doesn’t know what I’m going through (with gender dysphoria/body dysmorphia, etc.). That he’s here for me, but that he knows and respects that a community member can sometimes better support me.
I’m a 56-year-old white gay male, cis gender. I don’t have any friends who are trans or by or nonbinary. I’d like to get to know and talk with people from the other parts of the LGBTQIA+ I a plus community.
I grew up learning it was ok to like girls or boys. At 36, maybe this was not common. I can only hope things have changed immensely towards my situation since.
Reading people’s stories and listening to the pod has been so informative and fun. I got hooked from episode one. The community is so supportive and great.
I’m not sure i understand this platform yet, but any outlet is awesome. If anyone, in large or small numbers, gets something out of this, that’s the point. And that’s all it needs to be.
🎉NEW EPISODE ALERT 🎉
🎰♠️🎲 Gambling 🎲♠️🎰
This week - listeners bet on if Mike and Kyle play strip poker for Patreon video content... and we discuss gambling, slots, poker, religion, and addiction. Who needs Vegas when you have Gayish?
Fun episode (though to be honest, I find all Gayish episodes fun, so this perhaps isn’t useful feedback 😹). Especially enjoyed the inclusion at the end of Mike saying “I do what I want” when everyone was supposed to be quiet for podcast recording purposes. I love outros like these lol.
Lots of relatable moments in this Lavender episode! I too have a grandmother who put lavender (in woven satchels) in her underwear drawer.
I love that you dated lavender back to Sappho! And that you acknowledge the loss for lesbian history and simultaneously make potential space for bi-erasure! I also love the distinction between taking credit & letting the cat outta the bag. He was intersectional; an infamous influencer and a queer. And cheers for both of them, for camp & men in tight-ass purple pants!
on our podcast, on every episode, we talk about the stereotypically gayest and straightest things weve done that week, so that can be a fun place to start
To be honest, this will be my first Pride back in the real world. My local queer community organised great Zoom events for Pride & TDoR, with queer/2S performers, queer/2S multimedia art, links to related zoom parties, etc. Credit where it’s due, it’s been impressive. I’ve been good with that because I have people who need me to protect myself to protect them. I’m excited and anxious to get back out into real life Pride.
Hi Gayish community just finished listening to episode 278. Here in Des Moines, Iowa there is a gay bar that serves good food. It is the Garden Nightclub
Gayish has provided a safe place for me to learn about Gaydom. I’ve learned how to be a better husband to my husband, friend to my lgbtqia+ cohorts, dad to my lesbian daughter, and how to be an unapologetically gay hospital chaplain. Thank you Kyle!
thanks for saying that! yeah, i think so many of our stereotypes have *some* basis in reality, whether it’s that queer ppl are *more likely* to do something or we historically did something or they were forced to do something bc of persecution/criminalization. they come from somewhere, but i haven’t come across a stereotype that’s universally true. it’s interesting to understand where they come from, and that was definitely an interesting one to look into.
So my greek story is how when my grades in college got me auto enrolled in the honor houses. The only one that had a rush of sorts was the music greek house. Way back in 2002 as an out gay/queer man i got asked to rush a social greek house which I think had to deal with that I was also into promoting local bands too.
Yes! I agree entirely! Disney has proven it’s great at appropriating the stories & exploiting the work of queer creators. Contemplating corporate monopolies always make me feel impotent (metaphorically), so I try to focus on the ways we can hold them accountable. The recent bad press is a great example. There was a time when they wouldn’t be called out because the mainstream press didn’t want to talk about “the homosexualists” I think that it’s a positive change that they’re intimated because they’ve got the message that queer eyes are on them.
Re: movies. Do you consider Philadelphia to be a gay or queer movie? If the answer is yes, then that may mean it’s the best gay movie of all time, right? Oscar winner, big mainstream success, nearly universally praised. But also kind of in your face for 1993.
Oh, I agree, and I’m not saying specifically he is gay. When I say he needs to come out, I mean he needs to live his truth and not hide who he is. But I would say the way this country trends, his career in politics is coming to an end. But he is, at least to me, obviously not straight.
I just listened to your Fruitbowl interview and wanted to add one insight I think you missed about yourselves in regards to the thriving community part.
I enjoy your podcast for the learning part, yes. But you both are so comfortable being gay and doing all the gay things we do. That helps me feel more comfortable about my own gayness. So for that reason, I consider you to be leaders in the community, not just entertainment.
if you want to, go for it! or if anyone is looking for a place to start, we talk about stereotypes, so it’s always fun(?) to share the gay stereotypes you don’t fit or times you didn’t fit someone’s gay expectations of you. or selfies. this ain’t instagram. we support defying societal expectations of beauty.
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